Rachael Causes Problems Birthday Edition

This weekend Rachael and I celebrated her "birthday". Never mind the birth of Jesus or all hallows eve, this is the most important day of the year. "What did you get her?", the reader ponders. My response:" It doesn't matter. Simply nothing will please her". I woke up on Friday ready for a weekend full of words that begin with "dis" and ridiculousness. My first attempt at a gift was a limited vegan Hello Kitty tote bag signed by morrissey. Upon receiving she would only comment on how "gaudy" and "childish" it was. I figured it could've been worse so I proceeded with the day like it was any other. For dinner we were a bit rushed so I thought maybe a quick burrito would be fine. Bad idea. I was scolded for assuming that all vegans like lettuce and learned a lesson I will not forget. Anyways all weekend I showered her in gifts and nothing pleased her. Come Sunday night, we're both tired so we decide to watch a movie. My belief is that she is a little drowsy so I can be safe from any conflict from now until tomorrow morning. I put on "Ken Park" and instantly feel the heat. I couldn't understand much of what she was yelling because the sleepiness and rage sort of coalesced into a side of her I have never seen until this point. I am a Larry Clark and Harmony Korine fan. Kids had to be one of the best movies of the 90's era. Apparently Rachael is a purist and only likes the Harmony Korine side of this cinema breakthrough. From what i made out of the slurred and high frequency noises was how someone was only successful because someone knew how to write and Korine had zero involvement in the production of "Ken Park" aside from doing the screenplay. Whatever. We ended up watching "The Lion King .5". Similar to how "Lion King 1.5" offers insight into the events leading up to "Lion King 2" and alternate views to the first "Lion King", it shows the conception of and birth as well as sonograms and pictures of Simba in womb. Nat Geo has some fucked up movies.

The Menzingers

"A Lesson in the Abuse of Information Technology"

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